Top, Bottom, or Switch: Where Do You Fit Into BDSM?

Top, Bottom, or Switch: Where Do You Fit Into BDSM?

May 09, 2022 BDSM, Sex Education
To begin, BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, and these components all involve some form of consensual power exchange during sexual activity. Trying new activities in bed isn’t just fun; it’s good for your mental and physical health. But, understanding whether you’re a top or whether you’re a bottom—in an activity you’ve not tried yet—is intimidating because it doesn’t always correlate with your outside-of-the-bedroom personality. So, if you’re curious about giving bondage a try but unsure where’d you fit into the power dynamics, take the quiz below to find out if you’re a top, bottom, or switch.
1. When I masturbate, the thought most likely to push me over the edge is:

1. When I masturbate, the thought most likely to push me over the edge is:

A. My partner taking control and ravaging me while they hold me down.

B. Having my way with my partner.

C. Hmm… I see the benefits of both fantasies.

2. The phrase I’m most likely to yell during sex:

A. “Pull my hair,” “spank me,” or better yet: “please,” and “thank you.”

B. “Don’t come until I say so!”

C. It would depend on whom I’m sleeping with, but I would definitely say both of the above.

3. The sex position that’s next on my to-do list:

A. My partner pinning me against the bed with my wrists bound. Or, you know, whatever my partner has in mind.

B. A position where I can easily control the pressure and pace, where I’m on top. But as long as it was my choice, I’m happy.

C. It depends on the dynamic of my relationship with my partner; I’ve done (or would like to do) a bit of both.

4. Some qualities I find attractive in potential sex partners:

A. Someone who knows what they want, has charisma, is assertive, may be a little bit intimidating, and has that perfect combination of sweetness and cruelty.

B. Someone who is a good listener, sees eye to eye with me, and is ready to try new things I’m interested in.

C. I don’t have a clear-cut list. Some people make me want to obey; others, I’d love to flog. Don’t make me choose!

5. Here’s how I feel about pain:

A. If given in the perfect amount, I love the intense feeling of pain.

B. I love dishing it out—but I’m not as fond of taking it.

C. All forms of pain, under the right circumstances, are hot.

6. When I’m close to climax, the emotion I most closely identify with is:

A. Desperate and thirsty for my partner.

B. Authoritative and compelling—I’m in total control.

C. My orgasm feelings are contingent upon the dynamic I’ve created with my partner. Either they’re begging for it or I am!

7. If my partner asked me to take control of them for the night, my response would be:

A. That’s not really my style.

B. I’m so ready for it.

C. If I’m in an aggressive mood, my partner is in for the domination of their life. If that’s not the energy in my current relationship, then I might say no. Hard to tell!



Mostly A’s:

You’re a bottom. Bottoms are amazing, and technically, bottoms have all the power. It takes a lot of self-assurance to surrender control the way bottoms do. Plus, they have a safe word that can end the whole situation if they don’t like it. Bottoms can range from bratty (trying to get in trouble on purpose) to slave-like (doing their very best job). Rebellious subs love to fight back and make their top work to maintain control of them. Have fun forfeiting control in the bedroom, and don’t let anyone confuse submission for weakness—it’s just the opposite.

Mostly B’s:

You’re a top. You know what you want: another person who wants whatever you want. You like to be in charge in the bedroom; whether or not you’re the same way at work, school, or with friends is irrelevant! The remarkable thing about tops is that they know precisely what they want and they’re usually good at getting it. And, there’s a vast range of how tops behave: maybe you reward your sub for good behavior, or perhaps you prefer to punish bad behavior. Try both to see what you like better, and make sure your consent game is on point.

Mostly C’s:

You’re a switch. It’s not that you’re indecisive; it’s that you’re open-minded! You know what you want: the fun of being on the giving and receiving end of the power exchanges. In the BDSM community, switches have all the fun. They’re typically great at role-play because it’s easy for them to imagine themselves in very different sexual situations, and they literally get off on all of the variety.

Want to Learn More?

Thanks for reading this post! I'd love to talk to you more about it, and I'm also available for both virtual meetings and in-person meetings at the Chicken Ranch. Reach out to me directly at [email protected], and I can answer any questions you have or we can plan our meet together.