Alice Little's Impact Play

Impact play: what is it, who likes it, and how can you be safe while incorporating it into your sex life? As a longtime sex educator with a specialty focus on kink, I love to answer these types of questions. For starters, let’s define impact play. If you’re picturing paddles, whips, floggers, canes, or your very own hand, you’re on the right track.

Essentially, impact play is the act of striking another person within a sexual activity, or scene (scene is a word that means a sexual encounter that involves some form of BDSM). Impact play resides within a corner of kink and can be used to satisfy multiple different kinds of kink, which resides under the larger umbrella of BDSM. Some impact play offers a unique feeling or increases the responsiveness of the skin; other impact play provides pain. Intrigued? You should be! Impact play, when practiced safely, is great fun for people of all walks of life.

Who Likes Impact Play?

In the right circumstances, impact play can be fun for just about anyone. For some within the kink community, it’s an absolute necessity. If you’re not sure if you’d like it, it’s worth finding a partner you trust and giving it a try. You never know—it might change your whole sexual universe!

Impact play is often used to satisfy many different kinks, and therefore, it also satisfies many different kinksters. It could be used in role-play to discipline a naughty schoolgirl, for instance. Folks who love power exchange may use impact play as a way to train their bottom to be more submissive, or a bottom may like to push their own limits to see how much pain they can tolerate. You can incorporate impact play into a humiliation scene in which someone’s been a bad boy or a bad girl.

Or, absent a partner, you may try self-spanking, also known as self-flagellation. Self-flagellation has its roots in religion, as it was a not-too-uncommon attempt to atone for your sins, but self-spanking can also be a form of foreplay before masturbation or even during sex with a partner. In fact, even when flagellation was used as a means to become pious, the history books show us that both those who perform the whipping and those being whipped were often aroused throughout. Perhaps you are teaching yourself a lesson at the request of your top, or dominant partner. Or perhaps it gets you in the mood. Both reasons are valid!

Something for Everyone

So, clearly, impact play can cross the boundaries of many different kinks, and it appeals to a multitude of people. Impact play can give you so many distinctive sensations that there are many reasons to enjoy it. Some people like the sharpened focus that swift whack of the cane brings, some people like the shock of a stinging impact that’s full of wonder and adrenaline. Others like the dull ache that comes after a strike (in a slow session), while others like the sensation overload, where there’s no time to appreciate all the sensations in between blows. But clearly, for those who like to walk the fine line between pleasure and pain, impact play is a big win.

The Dos

  • Do Use a Safeword: Before you get started on your sexy spanking journey, make sure you have a safeword. A safeword is any word that represents your desire to stop or slow down when you’re involved in a scene. In case your scene involves struggling (and therefore could incorporate the word “stop,”) this word will notify the dominant that it’s time to cease all play.
  • Do Discuss Toys: Give consent for each toy, such as a crop or a paddle. Doing this before you begin the scene makes for less red tape once you’re in the middle of enjoying your well-deserved spanking.
  • Do Talk About Boundaries: Typically, both partners will have some limitations and boundaries around impact play no matter how much of a fan of impact they actually are. Do you like stingy sensations or thuds? State this beforehand. When you talk about this, it helps your scene be more successful so that no one runs afoul of anyone’s yuck list on accident.
  • Do Mention Marks: Would you prefer not to have a hand-shaped bruise on your derriere the day before you go swimming? This may happen unless you’ve given it some thought and discussed it with your partner. If you don’t want marks, the dominant is going to have to be extra careful. Some people find being marked by their partner during a scene a big turn-on. Think it over before going full speed ahead.

The Don’ts

  • Don’t Drink and Kink: Be sober during your intense impact play sessions. It’s easier to give and receive consent this way, but also, who would want to numb the sensations? The whole idea is to experience an extreme feeling. So, give in to the excitement and save the champagne for another night.
  • Don’t Forget About Consent: Ever. It’s the most critical part of any sexual encounter.
  • Don’t Go Full Throttle: At least, not at first. If you start too hard, your submissive will not have time to warm up, and typically won’t be able to enjoy as long of a session. As with any good quality sexual encounter, this is going to take some time. Start slow and ease your way up. Experienced dominants will ramp up so slowly that sometimes the submissive will impress themselves with how much they’re able to withstand.
  • Don’t Strike Dangerous Areas: Leave the stomach and sides out of your impact play, unless you are using really light force. Important organs are right under the surface, and no one wants to leave a fun spanking session with irreparable damage!

Impact Play: Things You Just Have to Try

There are several ways to influence and tweak the feelings conjured by impact play. One fun idea is to put your impact toys in the freezer for a short while to change the temperature; this can be a bit shocking—but in a pleasurable way. Or, blindfold your partner or have them blindfold you. They won’t know exactly when the impact is coming, which can add a lot of anticipation to the mix. Blindfolds can also help people focus more on their other senses, meaning the feeling can be a lot sharper. And, try different kinds of impact toys to experience new and different impact play. Going to the dollar store to find something is a fun way to add new elements to your impact play. Use a hairbrush, a belt, a ping-pong paddle, really anything sturdy, long, and flat for this activity.

Start With a Professional

If you’re new to impact play, starting with a legal sex worker is the safest, easiest way to try it. You don’t want to get injured, and you don’t want to harm someone else. So why not start with someone whose background and expertise can guide you to best practices and levels of pleasure that might have taken years to attain without them?

Even if you’ve been an impact play fanatic for years, having a session with a legal sex worker can benefit you. Pushing yourself to new limits, finding new and creative striking techniques or locations, or trying more extreme fantasies are safer and easier with a BDSM-specializing legal sex worker who knows what’s dangerous and what’s not. You’re sure to leave with some new ideas for expressing yourself sexually in the future with other kink partners.

Book a Kink Session With Me Today!

I love introducing new folks to kink and helping seasoned kinksters perfect their art. Reach out to me at [email protected], and we can book a date together.