Sex Education with Alice Little

Healthy Masturbation

 Go on, touch yourself! Jerk it off, rub the nub, tickle the pearl – whatever euphemism you’d prefer. Bring those hands down to your goodies and make them feel great! Yes, I am talking about masturbation.

Although decades and centuries ago masturbation was once viewed as some taboo, dirty act of shame and even mental illness – it is entirely healthy and normal for both men and women. Masturbation is generally not an openly discussed topic but the truth is, everyone, masturbates! It is simply a form of self-pleasure and gratification you should not be ashamed of! Who better to please than ourselves, right?

It is also very important to keep in mind that masturbation is a critical part of healthy sexual adolescent development. There’s no particular age where people begin to masturbate, but one usually starts masturbating and exploring their body parts during puberty. The glorious teenage years when raging hormones spark a plethora of changes and sexual urges is when people begin to watch porn and realize that self-pleasure isn’t all that bad. As we undergo puberty, our body starts to respond to various types of stimuli in different ways.

Masturbation helps us uncover answers to question such as: How do I best introduce these sensations? What are the sensations I like or do not like? What are the ways I can help myself reach climax?

Men, in particular, masturbate once or twice a day, or even more. Some women masturbate just as often as men or more, which is also completely normal! Masturbation can contribute to a healthy sex life as long as it does not disrupt your daily functions and ability to carry out a normal life (that’s called chronic masturbation – something we won’t discuss here yet). The science behind why masturbation is healthy is also because it releases hormones and endorphins, such as dopamine and serotonin which helps alleviates stress and supports mental health.

Before you start touching yourself, let’s get down to some important tips and practices:

 Hygiene is important

Wash your hands before and after! Whether you’re male or female, it is essential to wash your hands to remove bacteria on the surface of your skin and underneath your nails. You don’t want to introduce foreign and harmful bacteria that can disrupt the pH balance and healthy level of good bacteria in your genital area.

  1. Use Lube

As a sex and intimacy expert, I always encourage both males and females to apply water-based lube. It prevents unwanted friction and protects the sensitive nerve endings of your genital area. The most sensitive part of the penis is the head of the penis. For men who are uncircumcised, the majority of the nerves are located in the foreskin. For those who are circumcised, the most sensitive spot is at the neck of the penis glands. Lubrication serves as deference against friction to those parts.

 

  1. Masturbation for men

For men, start by going slowly and gently wrapping your hands around the base of your penis and slide up to the head. Some people prefer an emphasis on the upward stroke or the downward stroke, which rests entirely upon personal preference. The key is to start off very gently, ease in and gradually increase the intensity of the stroke. By doing so, you allow the sensitive nerve endings to slowly get stimulated before reaching the climax point. Delay gratification so you can bring yourself right to the edge, that’s where most of the fun and pleasure comes from!

As you stroke up and down, you can also twist your wrists to rotate your hand around the penis to create a completely new sensation. You can also try a side-ways twisting motion and see how you like it!

Masturbation is also not limited just to the hands, but devices such as a “fleshlight” can be introduced. It is a device that is made up of an outside case which is shaped like a large flashlight or cylinder, with an inner insert typically made of silicone that comes in a variety of colors, orifices, and internal textures.

 

  1. Masturbation for women

 

Ladies, you can start away from the clitoris by sensually touching your thighs, knees, or neck before working your way to the clitoris. Slowly tease in towards the most sensitive spot. Based on female anatomy and physiology, it takes longer for females to become fully wet and stimulated at an average of 10-15 minutes.

The clitoris is where all the nerve endings lie, thus use two fingers and slowly rub the clitoris in a semi-circle or full-circle motion at a consistent pace with even pressure. Some ladies may prefer penetration with a sex toy such as a dildo or fingers while simultaneously stimulating the clitoris. Other lades may not prefer any penetration at all. It’s all a matter of personal preference.

Unlike men who like to change up the pace and intensity, women generally prefer to keep the pressure and motion consistent, rhythmic, and precise.

 

  1. Mutual masturbation:

 

Mutual masturbation is when your partner touches you, while you touch your partner. It is an activity that often gets overlooked but is one of the most amazing ways to learn about each other’s bodies. As you touch each other, provide communication and feedback.

Ask questions as you explore your partner’s body. When you touch your partner, ask them “How do you like it here?” or “Do you prefer I do it like this?”. Another great way to learn is to ask your partner to “show me where or how you like it better.”

Being able to provide your partner with real-time feedback is one of the best learning experiences. Mutual masturbation enables you to take the stigma out of masturbation while actually using it to enhance your relationship and sexual dynamic.

 

You can also learn how to please our partner by simply watching them masturbate! If you watch your partner masturbate, take mental note of their tempo, positioning, and rhythm. You’ll be able to see another side of their body language you would not otherwise see.

 

 

Common pitfalls in masturbation:

  1. Not using enough lubricant! I can’t stress this enough!
  1. For men, watch out for the death grip, aka death grip syndrome. Especially when watching porn, men can lose sight of building up the intensity and just resort to being too rough because of visual stimulation overload. This can ultimately lead to porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). Frequent masturbation by rough hands can desensitize the nerves in the penis, thus lessening the pleasure of masturbation. The best cure and prevention against death grip syndrome is a fleshlight!
  1. For ladies, don’t fall into a mundane masturbation routine. Switch it up and enjoy the various ways of reaching orgasms that the female body has been endowed with! The female body can experience clitoral orgasms, penetrative orgasms, combination orgasms, and g-spot orgasms! Many women tend to pick one and stop exploring the rest!

Want a more hands-on demonstration? Let’s book an appointment! Reach out to me here or at [email protected]