Sex Talk: Being Verbal in the Bedroom
Let’s talk sex. Literally! When it comes to sex, many people have a general idea that sex is purely physical activity. While it is a physical activity, going beyond the physicalities can make sex even better. In fact, it can make sex great. Sex is made up of mini-activities, subtle motions, gestures, hints, tones, and sounds that we must learn how to use to our advantage. As humans, we have been gifted with linguistic capabilities – the cognitive ability to turn sound into words and to use those words to form a common language which we use to communicate with our lovers. Part of that wonderful gift is that we can use verbal communication in the bedroom to spice things up! Learning how to verbalize and give verbal instructions in the bedroom can make your sex life mind-blowing! Trust me! Allow me to focus your attention in this article to verbal bedroom communication – a.k.a
om talk so that when you do have that special person to do it with, you’ll be great at it! Here’s a tip, when you masturbate, just close your eyes and try to say those words. Light those candles. Turn on that hot bath. Completely indulge in your body’s naughty pleasures and senses. Touch your body and wherever it makes you feel aroused and stimulated, say something sexy out loud!
Okay, so giving verbal instructions or verbalizing in the bedroom does not come naturally to many people. Laying on a bed vulnerably naked with someone can be awkward enough, let alone having to start giving verbal instructions as to what you want them to do or how you want them to do it can be even more daunting. I get it. But how exactly does one go about giving verbal instructions in the bedroom? Allow me to focus your attention on the verbal and vocal communication aspect of sex.
One way to communicate is to make non-specific vocalizations, like moaning! A moan every now and then can spark a lot of fireworks in the bedroom. While a lot of females find it liberating and sexy to moan, it is common for men to feel a little less inclined or embarrassed to moan. However, a sultry and seductive moan coming from a man can also be totally hot! Just try it! Other sounds include groans, grunts, and heavy breathing. The only limitation with these sounds is that it is non-descriptive and does not specify what exactly it is that you want your partner to know or do. A moan can be hard to interpret. It doesn’t tell your partner things like how you want to be pleasured, where their hands should be, how you like to be touched, what you don’t like and so forth. That’s where the real sexy talk comes into play. It’s actually saying what you want your partner to do or asking in such a way that’ll knock the undergarments off of your partner!
Let’s start with verbalizing before and during foreplay. Men, listen up! Kissing is one of my favorite acts in foreplay because not only is it sensual, it gets you and lets you “taste” your partner! As you are starting foreplay, look into your partner’s eyes and passionately tell them “kiss me”. These two simple words are panty droppers! Reach your hand around her waist and gently pull her towards you. Make sure you lean in. Press yourself against her so you can feel each other’s warmth and heartbeat. Remember, body posture is also important! Body posture goes hand-in-hand with verbal communication so try to coordinate what you are saying with what your body is doing.
Grab your partner by the hand and lead them to the bed. As you do this, you can also whisper something sexy into their ear such as, “I want you” or “you’re so hot”. Ladies, instead of your man doing this you can also do this too. You can take his hand and lead him to the bed, push him onto the bed and then straddle him. As you and your partner are kissing on the bed, saying “take me” can also spark high levels of desire. The phrase works for both men and women.
Remember that giving back a response with the same level of enthusiasm and energy is also important! If your partner verbalizes or tries to communicate with you, communicate back and put in the effort to do so!
You can also give “specific” instructions in the bedroom. Do keep in mind that verbal instructions in the bedroom should not be forced commands. It should be more along the lines of asking your partner to do something and then reciprocating. Sex is a give-and-take activity! For example, you can ask your woman to “get naked and spread eagle” or “slowly take the panties off”. By asking instead of telling or commanding, you leave room for your partner to engage with you. She can respond by saying “oh, do you like it like this way?” She could even be playful and feisty by saying, “no, why don’t you do it – you’re playing by my rules!”. As you see, verbal bedroom communication should not be a one-way request. It should be an engaging conversation that stimulates both partners and keeps the fires burning! By doing this, you both get to shape the sexual atmosphere. Verbal bedroom instructions can shape what kind of sex you have ranging from playful to dominant, sensual to hot and feisty.
Verbal instruction can even happen outside of the bedroom prior to sex! When you find the right time and an appropriate place to talk, you can openly communicate and say “I had an idea for tonight that I’d love to try! Are you game?” Then you can talk your partner through your fantasy and explain the details of what you’d like to be done. As reciprocation, you can also ask your pa
rtner what their fantasy is and what it is that they would like to do.
Let’s face it, verbal bedroom communication can be weird. There are a million thoughts that rage through your mind. What if it gets corny? What if it just makes you want to cringe? What if you start laughing? Let me just say, it gets better with practice. Practice makes perfect. However, you have to start somewhere! If you already have a partner, you should start by making it a priority in your sex life to start trying. Take it one step at a time, make sure you and your partner both give each other encouragement and reciprocation.
For the single folks out there, have no worry, you can still practice your sex talk.
All of this takes practice but know that the practice is worth it because it is going to end up making your sex life so much better! At the end of the day, no one’s sex life is completely perfect nor is sex between two people (or more) always going to be perfect. Real life is far from a porn movie which means you’ll be faced with awkward moments from time to time, but it is totally normal and healthy!
I hope walking you through sex talk and verbal communication in the bedroom makes your sex life more exciting! If you want a hands-on course, I’d love to help you or your and your partner spice things up with communication in the bedroom! Just email me or contact me here!