Let’s Get Pegged! The Ultimate Pegging Guide

To peg or not to peg, that is the question! But wait, what exactly is pegging?

Pegging is a sexual act in which a woman uses a dildo or a toy attached to a harness to penetrate the male partner. Pegging is generally recognized as the act of the woman penetrating the man, but it can also happen when the man penetrates the woman with a strap-on dildo or toy. In this case, the man will wear the toy above his genitals to perform double-penetration on the female partner. Pegging can not only bring physical pleasure but it can also provide a new sexual perspective. Men will experience what it is like to be the “bottom” while the woman will experience what it is like to be on “top”. This can ultimately enhance and foster a healthier and happier sexual dynamic.

The rectum is certainly a fascinating part of our anatomy. As one of the parts of the human body more typically associated negatively with hygiene, the anus’s function for experiencing pleasure can be rather overlooked. When it comes to anal play, many people are hesitant and even afraid to explore, which is completely understandable! Little do people know, anal play can be extremely sensational, especially for men because of their prostate – a.k.a “the male G-spot”. We can even call it “the P-Spot”!

So what’s the prostate? The prostate is a tiny gland near the urethra, just under the bladder. It sits between the bladder and rectum. Stimulating the prostate can induce a prostate orgasm, which is a deep, tension-releasing sensation that can be warm and tingly but very pleasurable. Many prostate orgasms will be “dry orgasms” because no ejaculate is released and the penis may not be erect. There are numerous medical experts who claim that prostate stimulation can also provide medical benefits. Men can enjoy pegging in different ways depending on their body. Some will experience an erection while others may not.

In my years of experience as a kink and sex educator, I have worked with numerous clients to educate them about pegging since I started in the industry at 18. Pegging is a service that I find to be very unique; it’s incredibly stimulating and a huge turn-on for me! Although some people might say, I “peg” to differ! I can assure that with the right guidance and correct methods, pegging can be a highly erotic, fun and pleasurable sensation for both partners.

When it comes to pegging, I do not recommend just jumping into deep waters with your partner. I strongly suggest that both partners take their time to educate themselves on the topic. Have no fear, this guide is here to help you and your partner get pegging in no time!

First things first, get well-prepared! This is the most crucial part! Given that the rectum is not sterile, have the receiving partner thoroughly clean their rectum. I recommend using a water douche, although there are different types of douches available. I won’t get into the details of all that on here, but there are shower-based douche systems (fancier), disposable douches, bulb douches, and water bag douches. Avoid having a full bowel prior to the activity, hence avoid 3-5 hours before pegging. A golden surprise is not always a pleasant surprise for everyone!

Be open and communicative. Each partner should honestly tell each other about their level of experience in pegging – whether this is something they have experienced before or if it is totally new. The reason for this is so that the partner can gauge how much time is needed to help the other ease into the process. Managing expectations is key!

Everyone’s body reacts differently to anal penetration. Remember that the sphincter is a muscle, so just like any other muscle, it needs a little time to warm up! You must ease-in and gradually start. I recommend starting with simply one single gloved finger. A pro tip is to take the glove and flip it inside-out. Because the outside of the glove is textured and the inside is smooth, flipping it inside-out will feel more comfortable for the recipient.

Once the finger is gloved, you must lube thoroughly! Remember to use a lube that is suited for anal play. The rectal lining is thin so it can easily tear without the appropriate lube. Anal lube will be thicker and more viscous. Generally speaking, there are two main types of lube, water and silicone based. Silicone lubes are more recommended for anal sex because the rectal walls absorb water quickly which means water-based lubes can easily dry out and require more frequent re-application.

Slowly but firmly insert one finger into the receiving partner. Penetrate and slowly move the finger in a circular motion. The anus is a ring of muscles. Moving the finger through those muscles encourage the muscles to open up and relax. This is also to help your partner get used to the sensation. If your partner feels comfortable with one finger, you can try using two fingers and gradually build up from there. Keep in mind that not everyone’s anatomy will be receptive to anal play the same way, so some people might choose to stop at one or two fingers.

If your partner is comfortable to progress to using a toy, start with a small toy. I also recommend using a condom on the toy for safety and hygienic purposes. Putting a condom on a toy is especially recommended if it is to be used with multiple partners or inserted into multiple orifices. From my experience, I first use a butt plug to get the muscles relaxed, then use a small dildo. Using the toy in-hand before putting it onto a strap-on is important because it enables more control and precision over the action.

Once the receiving partner is comfortable using a small to a medium-sized toy, its time to bring out the harness! There are a plethora of harness brands and types to choose from. I recommend acquiring a high-quality harness made of high-quality material and adjustable straps. There are different systems and material that is used to hold the dildo in place. Strap-on harnesses can be made from leather, nylon, and polyurethane. Given that polyurethane is made of closed cell material, it is easy-to-clean with disinfectant spray. Leather material is not as easy-to-clean and is advised for use with a single partner. Adjustable straps are important for ensuring comfort and a snug fit – this is essential for the thrusting movement. Another type of harness is the strapless dildo which has two insertable ends, one end made for vaginal insertion. However, not everyone’s anatomy will accommodate the strapless dildo but it never hurts to experiment!

When the harness and toy are in place, properly lubricate! I advise the hands-and-knees position for the receiving gentleman because it allows the body to relax and the eyes to look away to reduce any anxiousness. It also straightens the rectum for straight penetration. With the hips, insert the toy in and out to create a slow thrusting movement. Ladies, if you’ve never done “hip thrusts” before, I recommend you practice this movement before doing it on your partner. It takes more practice than you think! Slowly build up the intensity. It can be hard to not get carried away! However, even at peak intensity, the thrust should be appropriately paced and not vigorous to ensure safe play.

Are there any risks in pegging? The rectum is a sensitive organ that should be handled with care and there are associated levels of risk. It is why I call pegging a “risk-aware consensual kink” or RACK activity. Some of the risks include a tear in the rectal lining or a prolapse. These can happen when not enough lube is applied, a toy that is too large is used from the start or thrusting too vigorously. In the case that these injuries happen, visit your medical doctor as existing bacteria in the rectum can cause infection which can lead to other complications. Nonetheless, these can be completely avoided by using best-method practices.

I’ve equipped you with all that you need to know to get started! Pegging can be an extremely pleasurable activity, even for the biggest skeptics! Remember, pegging is not a size competition or a thrusting race! It should be slow, gentle, and relaxed. Always keep in mind the guidelines I’ve mentioned above to ensure that both partners have a great time from start to finish. Most importantly, no matter what kind of sexual practice you engage in, know your body’s limitations and be respectful of your partner’s!

Pegging fantasies are some of my favorite to explore. Reach out to me here to book an appointment!