Losing your virginity is a big decision, but it’s also an exciting milestone that’s fun to cross off your bucket list. It’s the stuff that movies are made of: the plot is typically set up as a coming of age story, and then a precious love scene happens where the main character loses their virginity to their childhood sweetheart. And after their virgin status is officially gone, they see the world through a whole new vantage point. 

But, in real life, virginity loss often does not unfold that way. We’re in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Though the internet has made many parts of the world feel a lot closer, it has also had the unintended side effect of increasing isolation and estrangement. So, if you’re an adult virgin, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. You’re actually in good company. Many of my clients are tired of carrying around the label “virgin” and decide to take matters into their own hands. And I get to make their experience losing their virginity as special, memorable, and educational as possible. It’s one of the experiences I’m most honored to offer.

Losing your virginity at a legal brothel is an excellent idea because you work with a professional who is empathetic and can help you create a solid sexual foundation for your future. Statistically, many people who lose their virginities the traditional route have very unsatisfying experiences, but you don’t have to be one of them. If you’re ready to lose your virginity at a brothel, I’ve listed some ideas to consider before taking the plunge. Below, I’ve even included a draft email to use with the legal sex worker you choose to have your experience with. The bureaucratic part has all been done for you!

Remember: Virginity Is an Ill-Defined Concept

Virginity means different things to different people. For some, being a virgin might mean no sexual experience—at all. For others, it may mean you’ve done everything but penis-in-vagina sex. For bisexual and pansexual people, the waters are muddied even further. If you’ve done everything you care to with a woman, but you still haven’t had sex with a man, are you a virgin? If you decide to have sex with a man in the future, is that when you lose your virginity? Indeed, we’re working off an ancient definition of sex and sexual activity. But, for clarity’s sake, if you feel like a virgin, then you’re a virgin. If there’s still some sexual peak that you’d like to summit, then you are a virgin—at least when it comes to that specific activity.

Consider What You Want

What do you want out of your first sexual experience? It’s vital to ask this question before you lose your virginity, rather than after. Sometimes, since our culture stigmatizes adult virginity, people can become attached to the idea of “just getting it over with,” but that’s not the best idea.

Others are fine leaving their virginity loss up to chance: the chance that they’ll meet the right person, the possibility that the other person will be sexually interested in them, too, and the risk that both of them will exercise enough precaution to avoid an unintended pregnancy and any STIs that may be in the mix.

At a brothel, the legal sex workers are patient with you, will never be disappointed in your performance, and can give you honest feedback about your skill. You’ll go home with ideas to improve your future performance and great tips for safe sex. You’d be surprised how far an overnight with a professional sex worker will go toward eliminating the level of poor sex education our country currently tolerates.

Keep in mind that for all momentous occasions that are as thoroughly hyped as virginity loss, there’s bound to be a bit of disappointment. Whenever we have high hopes for something to be life-changing, it will always turn out different than we expect, and that’s a good thing. If we were never surprised, sex would be pretty dull. When you lose your virginity, the clouds don’t part, fireworks don’t actually go off, and angels won’t serenade you. On the bright side, you’ll experience a new kind of pleasure, and you’ll learn how to satisfy future partners if you lose your virginity at a legal brothel.

Additionally, losing your virginity at a legal brothel is about the safest experience you could have. All of the sex workers are rigorously trained in the art of safe sex—our careers depend on it! So, we’ll handle everything to ensure we both have a safe, STI-free time. And on top of that, you can be sure to have total discretion and anonymity. You don’t have to worry about anything except for showing up and losing it.

Be Honest

Don’t let stigma bully you into lying about your sexual experience. Honesty is always the best policy. Sometimes, if you feel shame, finding the right words to use to talk about your situation is difficult. Your legal sex worker wants to know if you’re a virgin so that they will come prepared to be patient, not be surprised if it goes quickly, schedule enough time to have a second try, and guide you through the whole process with sensitivity. Just in case you don’t know exactly what to say, I’ve drafted an email you can use by copying and pasting, just because I like you. Sub out the names, dates, and activities if you have something else in mind, and add in any relevant details that you think would help your chosen companion get to know you and help plan a great date.

Dear Alice,

My name is Virgil, and I have never had sex before. I’d love to plan an experience with you at the legal brothel. I have watched your YouTube channel, and I’m interested in a few sexual activities. I’d like to start with a dinner date before doing the deed. If I’m still nervous, would you please give me an erotic massage? I’d also like to learn about performing oral sex on women, some interesting sex positions I can use in the future, and how to be great at foreplay.  I’m available on the following dates: ________________. Let me know how much time to allow. Thanks so much, and I look forward to communicating with you!


The next step is that you’ll call the brothel and put down a deposit. I’ll respond to your email as soon as possible, and once your deposit is down, we can start planning something unforgettable. When you’re ready for a great virginity-loss experience, email me at [email protected]!